Ministry Musings 04/13/20
Good Morning! I am sorry concerning this late update on God’s working through yesterday’s service. Don’t be surprised that God did not work the way I expected. By faith, I know exceptional things took place. It has taken me a full day to listen and reflect. I know, God rules and reigns. He moved in a powerful way in Burrton yesterday. Warning, right here might be a good place to stop reading as the rest of the story is not as nice and neat.
The rest of the story. When I emailed you Sunday, I had just finished an hour long prayer walk around the outside of Burrton. It was one of the most focused time of prayer and praise that I have had in my life. I was on a spiritual high.
Energized, I started a 3-hour frenzy to prepare for an outside service. God was showing off as He answered requests to bring a calm to a strong wind and the clearing of a heavy drizzle. While He was setting the stage, I was allowing the details to distract me. Plan A, B, C, D and so on evaporated before my eyes. It was time to start, the sound and music options were makeshift, and I was not settled in my spirit. Many people who had alluded to coming did not, thus drenching my expectations on what God was going to do. I struggled to focus and lead a meaningful service in an unusual setting. Then the weather changed abruptly. Few had brought coats because it was unusually warm. The immediate cold and wind stole the focus and attention of the body. We finished in record time.
Cleaning up, my heart hung heavy I did not understand. God had done His part. The only place I could find fault was me. I felt all the soul suffocating feelings of failure and inadequacy. I wanted to curl up in a ball and hide. In the darkness I knew two things. God was in control and I needed time to listen and learn. I needed until today to be able to even write to you what God did because I did not know.
Here are the affirmations that He has shown me and that I need to constantly commit to.
1 He is sovereign and working for His glory in every situation regardless what is seen.
- I was trying too hard to please people and not allowing Him to provide.
- Life is not about me, it is all about Him.
- My circumstances do not indicate His favor. He works through anything and usually the harder the better.
- No matter my feelings, He uses situations to bring Him glory and take me deeper.
- I want to be taken deeper, pruned, tempered, in whatever way He wants.
- I am expectant, that I will yet see His hand move through Burrton and the world.
- I get a fresh start to show up again today.
There is an old story about a train engineer, named Mike Finigan. He was particularly wordy in his reports of train incidents and mishaps. The higher ups were aggravated about the time it took to process the paperwork. They put a lot of pressure on Mike to make things simple. It was not too long before Mike had another accident. So, to comply, he turned in the following report.
That is what I have to say about yesterday. Keep showing up.